WOW. and i thought it couldn't get worse...

hello dear readers!!!
i know you must all be so surprised that i've written so much right after the other, but things need to get off my chest and this is the best way to do it, short of yelling and screaming to my wall. needless to say, i think you would appreciate it and sympathize with me more than my wall. AGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER in my ENTIRE life have i been subjected to such an AWFUL experience! i thought St. Mark's was bad, but THis!!!! St. Philip's definitely takes the cake!!! it wasn't even MASS! it was completely illegitimate, illicit, and disgusting!! AGGGHHHH!!!!!!! *Deep Breath* ok, i'm going to calm down. *another DEEP BREATH*. so, this morning i decided to try another church, St. Philip's, because St. Mark's just didn't cut it for me.(see previous post). so, i walk in and start to get a little nervous when i see signs, not for "CHURCH", but for "WORSHIP CENTER". bad feelings arise..... and then i see the inside. oh dear. it was one of those circle churches that couldn't decide on a center focal point and so decided to make the seats go all around. and there were no kneelers.....again. the seating was in a sort of stadium setting, so i guess it would be good if a concert or game were going on. so i, deciding to be calm until absolutely pushed, went in and got a seat. i didn't genuflect because there wasn't a tabernacle of ANY sorts IN SIGHT!!!! i couldn't find ANYTHING!!!! whatever. so then i decided to kneel and say my prayers before mass. that was the beginning and the end of any good experience for me at that church. the opening of the mass(if you could call it that) was confusing and all over the place. but then it got familiar as the readings started. and that part of the mass was fine. then came the homily. i couldn't decide if it was when the priest said "we don't come to mass primarily to adore Christ, but to nourish ourselves" or when he said "people who do not try and sing, or who kneel when the rest of the community stands during the eucharistic prayer, are not simple people(taken from the 1st reading about lady wisdom who calls those who are simple)", that did it for me. i think i would have to go with the first quote. correct me if i'm wrong, but i thought that adoration of Christ should be our PRIMARY goal and focus of EVERY action and thought throughout our day!!!! ESPECIALLY the Mass, which is His gift of Himself to us!!!!! how could not our Primary point in attending BE but to adore Him!?!?!?!?!! GOSH! C'mon!!! well, i thought it couldn't get any worse. until i saw the white wine and the thick tortillas that they used for the consecration. which i didn't see until after they had consecrated it. "WOW." i thought, "it can't get any worse than that!" and you might agree with me. but then came what i guess you would have to call "child eucharistic ministers". ENOUGH is ENOUGH!!!! so that was the block that broke the camel's back. i got up and, for the first time in my life..... i left.
ok, i'm done. thanks for bearing with me and hopefully my next experience will be better as i try to find a glimmer of faith in this God-forsaken state. you know.....excluding my run-ins with the churches.....everything else has been WONDERFUL! God-willing, i'll find a church that is at least reasonable, if not awesome. but we'll shoot for the awesome. ciao!