Musings from a Sleep Deprived PTA student....

Hello friends! At least, I'm assuming that the only people who are reading this are friends or at least friendly in nature. =) Beware, I am in a particularly emotional mood right now, which i'm hoping is due to mere hormones and nothing more serious. However, this past week was still crazy, trying to get everything(classes, finances, new city, etc.) in order and still failing. well, at least failing to get them written down in order. ha-ha. I'm not trying to have any sort of that order here, so this post will be more along the lines of Dorie, than anything else. Right now i'm listening to a CD my sister Chribber made me ages ago, and the current track is Maria Maria by Santana....a personal favorite that somehow always reminds me of Torie Wyant nee Zmuda. Speaking of which.....HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY, WYANTS!!! But the real question(and the reason why i started this post) is to ask you all what might be a purely hypothetical question, unable to be fully answered objectively: What makes a "home"?? Is it merely the sentiment/familiarity that a certain place holds?? is it ONLY "Where the heart is"?? At some point after one moves, they stop clarifying which home they're talking about when they say "home". When does that happen?? and when pushed....do you ever stop referring to the place you grew up as "Home"?? Is it love or familiarity that makes a place "Home"?? AGGHH!!! do you see my dilemma?? Let's put it into a physical setting for you visual people(you know who you are =P): 

I grew up in Ann Arbor, MI. I consider myself lucky in that most of my childhood was spent in one house....we didn't move alot after I was born. hmmm....that might be food for another post. At any rate....I will say that for the most part my childhood was happy, with normal ups and downs. But I will say in the same vein that it wasn't SUPER happy(at least in my memory). That being said.....I've moved around alot, especially in the past few years, and with this move....i feel like i could set up camp here in St. Paul. So what is it that makes me unable to think of St. Paul as home?? I definitely love it more than Ann Arbor as far as the actual cities goes. And it is and has been a much more positive environment for me, with a good group of friends who support me 100%; a fantastic school where a positive learning atmosphere is promoted; and a good base of support for my spiritual needs, with good churches within a mile of my apt in either direction; and a good variety of social events and interesting places to hang out. So I have many different loves present here, not to mention that I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. Finally. So what IS it that pulls my heartstrings towards Ann Arbor?? Is it a certain kind of love that makes a home, "Home"??? and if so.....why isn't it "Home is Where a Certain Love Is?? WHY DAMMIT??? That would certainly clear things up for me and not pose such problems. I guess my conclusion is: Don't Trust Proverbs Or Life Sayings. THEY LIE/DECEIVE. 

Ok, i have to go actually start my day and get on with my life. PLEASE COMMENT!! I really want to know what you all think!! As always I remain,

Missing You From St. Paul.

Ok, God, Ok.

Ever have those Meg Ryan days?? More specifically, those Meg-Ryan-in-You've-Got-Mail days? Well, in case you are completely flabbergasted by this idea and have NO IDEA what I'm talking about.....allow me to explain:

To be Meg Ryan, you must have an optimistic view on life and be somewhat happy-go-lucky and cutesy. To be Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail, you must be the above with a little something extra: having your parade rained on. A specific scene comes to mind: Meg Ryan is in bed with an extreme cold, while her store is being crushed by a corporate giant. When she thinks life can't get any worse, who shows up on her doorstep but the one man who has single-handedly taken her down.

I don't know how that really applies to me, except that my allergies are acting up, making me all sniffle-y and sneeze-y and that just makes me think of Meg Ryan in that scene. That, and the fact that I wasn't able to rent a car today, a fact which supplied the necessary depression. Also like Ms. Ryan.....I came out on top. Not *quite* with the guy, the love, and all that jazz.....but at least with a way to continue on to St. Paul and with my sanity intact. =) Enter my GODSEND: My sister, Christina. She has been my angel of mercy and without her, I would be.....a disaster, alone in Chicago. But who really thinks this post is about anyone else but me?? So back to yours truly and my pathetic attempt at a move.

NEWSFLASH! THIS JUST IN:
I'M OFFICIALLY OFF THE WAITLIST AND CAN START MY PROGRAM THIS FALL!!! I am BEYOND ecstatic!! Apparently God just wanted to see if I was truly serious about this PTA business or what.

So, Chribber's computer is about to die so I have to sign off for now. Cheers faithful readers!!! May God bless you wherever you might be and in whatever you are doing!

25 things of random.

Dear readers,

I realize that most of you who used to be faithful readers, after almost two years, don't even check this anymore. However, lack of an audience never daunted other authors before, nor should I be the one to break that tradition. Not to mention it has always been my disposition that things are better left said than unsaid, if one has alot to say.

Now.....do not be alarmed that I have alot to say and so therefore you should fetch your favorite slippers and get comfortable. Nay nay......I doubt what I have to say will take more than a few short paragraphs. But perhaps if I can add bullcrap as I have been able to do in this introduction alone, it might end up being a bit more.

*deep breath*......here goes:

Well, ALOT has happened in the past year and a half. I DID in fact quit my job down in Texas, but for better reasons than my previous rant would suggest. In fact, I find that I owe the Reads and Texas a huge favor, if only in the discovery through them of what I do NOT want. But I must also add that it WAS while working with Ruthie, taking her to Physical Therapy, that I decided that PT was my destiny. "Haha.....destiny? come now, be real!", you might say. However, I truly believe that I was made to practice physical therapy. And seeing as this is the first thing in my life that I am TRULY convicted about and from which NOTHING would deter me, I think I can say that I am honestly destined to be a PTA. So.....hence there was alot of entreaties on the Reads end for me to stay, but I was firm and booked my flight home. I appreciate leaving now so much, because I've realized that the more I leave, the nicer it is to come home and be with my family. Not that my family and I don't get along.....it's just that I am able to appreciate them much more, having been away. That being said, I tend to stay too long and that lovely forgiving view fades away with time.

Skip forward a year. I am now finished with prerequisites and have decided that Chicago, while lovely, is *not* where I am supposed to be. Not to mention, I picked the worst time to not be in school and search for a temporary job that will pay enough for me to save. A novel idea for me, I know, but a necessary reality with the prospect of moving, a car, and more school in my future. Enter Starbucks. I know I know, they support everything bad and are well-versed in extortion. However, they are pretty much the only company in Ann Arbor who hire for temporary positions while offering insurance if one works more than 20 hours a week. which is what one was planning on doing anyways. So in July of 2008, I joined the multimillion dollar corporation and became known as a fullfledged "barista".....a modern term for "slave". It's true, with a smile and a joy that most Starbucks managers have yet to come across in a "newbie", I entered ranks. It is.....truly AMAZING....how detailed people can be about a simple cup of coffee. It also amazes me that anyone would be rude to, complain about to their face, or disrespect someone who is MAKING YOUR DRINK. I shudder to think of the number of people who have unknowingly drunk someone else's spit. That's right, I said SPIT. because let me tell you......it is only through my AMAZING self control, that I haven't spit in anyone's drink. The thought of throwing their hot drink in their face has also crossed my mind. In case you've never thought about this, and have on occasion been a bitch, I give you this advice......just don't. Your baristas/servers/whoever CAN and WILL get you back for every jab or rudeness. What do you think we think about in between customer lines or on our days off?? OUR JOB CONSUMES US IN A VERY NASTY WAY. on the bright side however, I really love interacting with the people, especially if they're nice. Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but talking to tons of people throughout the day is like crack to me. I get a high from it. Honestly. And it has been a TON of fun learning how to make all the million different kinds of coffee drinks, and make them well. I never thought I would see the day when I would get so excited about "good foam". trust me....there is a HUGE difference between good foam and bad foam, looks AND taste.

But enough about Starbucks. I'm in California for the first time in my LIFE!!! Let me just say right now so I can get it off my chest: No trip is ever free. And I mean that in so many different ways. But for the past three days I've been in Heaven, staying @ Mary Twaddle's(a good friend from school) condo in Laguna Beach. Yeah.....you heard me right.....I said LAGUNA BEACH! and no, I don't watch those silly shows, but it's exciting nevertheless! I am very easily entertained and amused and yes, my mom was amazing at teaching me to never lose my sense of wonder. Not only that, but my brother is on his way to pick me up and show me LA!!! The funny thing is, is that I'll be excited to come home. California is a beautiful place, but I don't want to live here, oddly enough. My sister Christina, on the other hand, NEEDS to move here. "Well, it'll be nice then for you to be home soon.", you say. Not so......I go home a day and a half from now, only to be home for a few days, then off again on another adventure! This time, however, I'm staying in the midwest and visiting MN. Good friends, awesome city, and a meeting with a fantastic school await me there.

Oh goodness, there are just times when my heart swells and it's SO GOOD to be alive!!! those moments come and go, but they happen enough to where it makes the other times more endurable. I spend my days wavering between the view that life is this scheduled, monotonous daily regime and all I have to do is get through it and the view that life is this crazy exciting winding road with new adventures just brimming over with fun are around every bend. So right now, I'm going to let you all go and I'm going to savor the sweetness of this moment and thank God for it, for I think we don't ever just stop to thank Him enough. Goodnight, and who knows?? perhaps this is a good start to a more regular posting habit.

......we'll see. =)

Ps. because I think that every author should always have a postscript about something, here's mine: I just realized that I didn't tell you why I chose the title I did. Let's see if you can figure it out......=P