Saturday, September 19, 2009

Musings from a Sleep Deprived PTA student....

Hello friends! At least, I'm assuming that the only people who are reading this are friends or at least friendly in nature. =) Beware, I am in a particularly emotional mood right now, which i'm hoping is due to mere hormones and nothing more serious. However, this past week was still crazy, trying to get everything(classes, finances, new city, etc.) in order and still failing. well, at least failing to get them written down in order. ha-ha. I'm not trying to have any sort of that order here, so this post will be more along the lines of Dorie, than anything else. Right now i'm listening to a CD my sister Chribber made me ages ago, and the current track is Maria Maria by Santana....a personal favorite that somehow always reminds me of Torie Wyant nee Zmuda. Speaking of which.....HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY, WYANTS!!! But the real question(and the reason why i started this post) is to ask you all what might be a purely hypothetical question, unable to be fully answered objectively: What makes a "home"?? Is it merely the sentiment/familiarity that a certain place holds?? is it ONLY "Where the heart is"?? At some point after one moves, they stop clarifying which home they're talking about when they say "home". When does that happen?? and when you ever stop referring to the place you grew up as "Home"?? Is it love or familiarity that makes a place "Home"?? AGGHH!!! do you see my dilemma?? Let's put it into a physical setting for you visual people(you know who you are =P): 

I grew up in Ann Arbor, MI. I consider myself lucky in that most of my childhood was spent in one house....we didn't move alot after I was born. hmmm....that might be food for another post. At any rate....I will say that for the most part my childhood was happy, with normal ups and downs. But I will say in the same vein that it wasn't SUPER happy(at least in my memory). That being said.....I've moved around alot, especially in the past few years, and with this move....i feel like i could set up camp here in St. Paul. So what is it that makes me unable to think of St. Paul as home?? I definitely love it more than Ann Arbor as far as the actual cities goes. And it is and has been a much more positive environment for me, with a good group of friends who support me 100%; a fantastic school where a positive learning atmosphere is promoted; and a good base of support for my spiritual needs, with good churches within a mile of my apt in either direction; and a good variety of social events and interesting places to hang out. So I have many different loves present here, not to mention that I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. Finally. So what IS it that pulls my heartstrings towards Ann Arbor?? Is it a certain kind of love that makes a home, "Home"??? and if so.....why isn't it "Home is Where a Certain Love Is?? WHY DAMMIT??? That would certainly clear things up for me and not pose such problems. I guess my conclusion is: Don't Trust Proverbs Or Life Sayings. THEY LIE/DECEIVE. 

Ok, i have to go actually start my day and get on with my life. PLEASE COMMENT!! I really want to know what you all think!! As always I remain,
Missing You From St. Paul.