Pause In Happiness - Orange Edition

Dear world,

There's a quote out there by Guillaume Appollinaire, where he says, "Now and then it is good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." Today is one of those days. Today is a GREAT day. :)

What does it take to be happy, you may ask? Well, for me it has been a combination of God's grace (those times where it pours out SO ABUNDANTLY that you just can't help but notice? Yeah, those times.), a shopping trip, wonderful friends, good food, fantastic co-workers, and the reality that today is FRIDAY and I have tomorrow off. :)

One of my friends recently started a blog and in one of her posts she talks about building a wardrobe. You can check her blog out here, if you'd like. In that particular post, she talks about picking a scheme/theme for your season's wardrobe. I decided on my shopping trip last night that my love of stripes was going to be my theme/inspiration for my spring wardrobe. Here are a few picks from my first outfit......what do you think? Do you have any inspirations/themes that you are excited to translate into a wardrobe?

From the front: Shirt ($5.99) and gray skinnies ($12.49), Old Navy; Necklace, Francesca's; Ruffle wedges, DSW.

 

 

 

 

 

From the side.....a little Friday sass. ;-)

Close-up: Lipstick, "Kiss Me Coral", Revlon; Eiffel Tower earrings...I can't remember. Sorry!

"Enough"

"Fear is the original sin."

This quote is from one of my favorite books, Blue Castle, by L.M. Montgomery. I have thought about it a lot, and every time I think about it, I agree with it more.

Every day we are faced with little fears: "Do I have enough time?", "Does my outfit look ok?", "Did I pack enough food for the day?"..........and on top of those daily little fears sit larger, more overwhelming fears: "Will I be able to make rent this month?", "Did I choose the right career/vocation?", "How do I balance life?", etc. You could replace these questions/fears with any others and I think they would all boil down to one, big question: "Am I enough?".

I believe that God created us out of an overflow of His perfect love. There is also a saying, that one of my professors loved, that "everything is gift". However, even if you believe in the Big Bang Theory.....we would still be made from an excess, leftovers from an explosion. With that in mind, my question is "How can that which is, by very definition, an overflow and gift and extra, even be considered in the same realm as 'enough'?" When we consider ourselves, our society, our world....to all be 'extra'/'gift'.....then the word "enough" ought to become an absurdity. And yet.......how hard we try to convince ourselves of it's plausibility! We, who are supposed to be rational beings, spend the majority of our time trying to make an absurdity a reality. And yet, time and time again without becoming weary, God reaches out to us in love when we have fallen from despair and eliminates our fears as He whispers to us: "My beautiful one, YOU are precious, unique, and I love you with an unending love."    

A Good Friend Is A Treasure

"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter, he who finds one finds a treasure." - Sirach 6:14

I often take comfort in certain Bible verses, and a few find their way back into my mind over and over again. The one that I have mentioned above is one of those repeating sounds in my head. It is also a favorite verse for me and my long-time friend, M.

However, this verse actually applies to all my friends. It popped into my head after a wonderful surprise chat this morning with my dear friend, Louise, from the best ever blog: Coffee and A Cardigan. If you have not visited it yet, hop on over there now and explore the funky fashion of an amazing woman!

Dear readers......you must forgive, and simultaneously realize, that I digress a lot throughout my posts. Which, if I remember, I'll try to remedy and ask forgiveness. =)

The point of this whole post was just to share with you how wonderful and true that Bible verse is! Lou and I have been on opposite sides of the continent for the past (forever!) years, and are therefore hardly ever able to chat due to time zones, and yet this morning we chatted over Gchat for just a few moments and it was as if all the years just dissolved into air and we were back together again at college, talking face to face over tea. *blissful sigh*

People often ask me why or how I spend so much time on FB(can't wait for Lent to be over!) and I always answer simply, "Because I can connect with most, if not all, of my friends." They look on it as a chore, and it is a bit of work, but would not you work to upkeep a shelter to keep it sturdy? To keep jewels polished so that you may wear them proudly? to work well for good wages?

I'm not trying to say I'm so great. I'm just saying I don't look on it as taxing to my strength. Rather the opposite! I get such an energy from people being happy around me that I yearn for time and conversation with friends. And let's be honest......I have the best friends. Sorry all you who are not me or do not know my friends. They are the most amazing and unique bunch of people. I am so blessed. Thank you all for your friendship!

It is also sunny today, which ALWAYS adds to my enjoyment of life. I never used to like Spring all that much, but in later years it has opened up to me quite a few different aspects that I find charming, that I never realized before, or maybe just took for granted. I love the bright, crisp sunshine, not quite as hot as summer, or brisk as fall, or glaring as winter......just bright and happy and new. And, while I may bemoan it most days, I do find the changeable wind that can go from soft breeze to tyrant storm in a few short hours to be quite fascinating. And throughout all of that, everything NEW. New flowers, baby animals, leaves, plants.....everything seems to get a new outfit or rebirth in Spring.

And so dear readers, I will leave you for today. For the sun is beginning it's descent and I still want to go enjoy a bit of it! Thank you for reading (and especially for commenting!)!!!

The Sunny Side of Life

Hi dear ones! (I may not even know all of you who read this, but dear you are for reading!)

It is a very GREY day here, with dreary rain this morning, and listless nothing this afternoon. However, since I promised that this post would be lighter and happier than my previous post, and I am in a foul disposition, I shall have to defer to others' comedy to brighten your day. Below are some of my very favorite YouTube videos, which I cannot, and will not, ever get sick of watching. =) I hope they brighten your day as much as they always brighten mine!

On Bad Days 

On Sibling Rivalry


On The Battle Of The Sexes and Why Men Just Don't Understand.....Or Do They?

On How To Communicate To Men When They Won't Listen

In closing (I already feel much better!) I will say......TGIF!!!! Tomorrow is another day, with no mistakes in it. <3

Requiescat in Pace

Today, dear readers, is a more solemn post. My great aunt, Helen, on my mother's side, died last week. She was on the Greek side of my family and I barely knew her, but I ask your prayers for her soul and for my mom's family, especially my grandfather. Thank you, and I will write a later post on a much more happy or "natural blue" note later on.


One thing I love about the Greek language is how they express things. My great aunt Helen was honored in her church's Sunday bulletin and above her they wrote the words "May her memory be eternal", which somehow has a different meaning to me than "May she rest in peace". Am I alone in this? The Greek seems much more personal and a reminder to us still here on earth that we are to glean the good from others and live by that goodness. I'm not saying this the way it's sounding in my head, but when I hear "May her memory be eternal", I feel like it is a request for us here on earth to make her proud through our lives well lived, and so on for generations. Does that make sense?

At any rate......may she rest with God for eternity and may her life be an example to all who knew her. Thank you for your prayers!

~ Dorie

A Cornucopia of Color

Have you ever noticed, dear readers/fellow bloggers, that I almost *HAVE* to start my blog posts with an opener similar to a letter? I just realized this today, hence the different opener/beginning of this post. And after further thinking, I believe I do that because, subconsciously, this is my way of writing a letter to all of you at one time. A sort of communal epistle, as it were.

At any rate, I digress.

What I wanted to talk to you today was about COLORS. If you know me in the slightest, you know that I simply cannot get enough color in my life. If my sisters would let me, I would leave the house in a veritable rainbow of hues. Thank God for sisters. =)

But on to the point of this post. My friend and dear ex-roomie over at Stained Glass wrote a post a few weeks back that really got me thinking: What if people viewed other people by color? Now, there ARE some people who believe in "auras", a certain color haze or halo surrounding each person indicative of their energy. I don't believe in that, but certain people, by their disposition and personality, do remind me of certain colors.

For example: My friend, whom I shall call Writtle Bear to protect their anonymity, reminds me of a deep purple hue. Now, purple just happens to be one of Bear's favorite colors, but the shade of purple I see when I look at W.B. really does suit them. When I think of that shade of purple, almost aubergine, I immediately see subtlety, a sort of regal air, a slightly veiled but strong warmth, and a sophistication and complexity that is more interesting than stuffy; a color that runs deep, wears well, and is not for the timid. Now, if you know this Writtle Bear of whom I speak, do not you think that suits them rather well?

Take, for example, another friend, whom I shall call K.S, the acronyms for the kind of friend she is. KS reminds me of a deep, true blue color. When I think of this color, I automatically start calming down. =) This color is straightforward, simply beautiful with no pretenses, but deep and full, frank but not "loud". Not quite a Dorie blue. =)

For myself, I identify with these shades of orange and yellow.  Sorry about the hands in the former, but isn't that dress in the latter divine?!?
Also......would you agree with my interpretation of myself? Self-portraits intrigue me and I often wonder if we think the same of ourselves as others think of us. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COMMENT!!!!

Paid In Full

The most beautiful words I could hear today would be: Paid. In. Full.

Allow me to explain. Due to the nature of my various educational ventures, I have quite a few loans racked up in my name and my mother's name. This doesn't even touch the black hole that is my shopping addiction.

However, today is SUPER blessed as I received my tax refunds this past week and today have paid off the Sallie Mae loan in my mom's name(I'm sure I have increased in love in her eyes for this gesture) AND my remaining balance due to the University of St. Catherine. I have also paid off my Banana Republic card balance, which is pittance when compared to the other two payments made today, but nevertheless adds to the adrenaline coursing through my body and making my heart soar!

If you have so blessed that you have never had to deal with payments and bills and such, YAY for you! If you're like the rest of us Americans who will most probably be straddled with debt until the year 3010.....you know how I feel. I intend to keep this motivation up and continue to pay off a loan each month until I only have my Ave loan left.

I apologize if any of you reading this hate speaking about money. I hate discussing finances too, and usually make it a point not to speak about this, but I also make a point of spreading good news, and this is VERY VERY good news and a long time comin'!

Happy Feast of the Annunciation!!!!:
"Existing before time began, He [Jesus] began to exist at a moment in time." – St. Leo the Great

+ FIAT MIHI +

A Yiddish Proverb with Graphics to Explain!

It is a perhaps unknown or widely held Yiddish proverb that explains "When brains are needed, brawn won't help".

My friend, Thom Peters from American Papist and Catholic Vote
offered this link on his Gmail Buzz.

I promise: If you click on this link, you will be entertained. =) If not, I promise to dedicate a whole post to you. (You will have to comment to tell me who you are. hehe)  

हैप्पी रेअदिंग! (That means Happy Reading in some foreign language. =)

http://www.simoleonsense.com/infographic-how-to-have-a-rational-discussion/

This One's For The Girls

Dear readers,
I found this while sorting through my old email account and, as I don't have current emails for all of you, decided to post this on here. As with all good passages, this still holds true 6 years after I first received it. So for all of you females reading this.....Thank you!

This says it All:
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Love waxes and wanes.
Hearts break.
Careers end.
Jobs come and go.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Men don't call when they say they will.

BUT...........

Girlfriends are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you.

A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach.When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it for yourself, your girlfriends will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out.

Daughters, Daughter-in-laws, sisters, sisters-in-law, mother, mother-in-law, aunties, nieces, cousins, extended family, and friends bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I.
When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

Pass this on to the women who help make your life work.
I just did.
Friends are like fat thighs, they keep in touch.( I loved this part!)

To all my dear girls......you have kept me sane and kept me going! Please know that you are all in my prayers. May you have a blessed Lent!

xoxo,
Mona

REAL Estates - A Link or Two

I am going to live here one day. It is ugly as sin on the outside (although oddly enticing.....) but just read all about it: http://www.cnbc.com/id/41371897?slide=5

Or I could live here: http://www.cnbc.com/id/41371897?slide=7

This is just weird, and odd, but cool? Yes: http://www.cnbc.com/id/41371897?slide=8

A house that lets you cheat death?....or not: http://www.cnbc.com/id/41371897?slide=10

This would just be neat to walk through, although perhaps to creepy to own: http://www.cnbc.com/id/41371897?slide=11

When you think about it.....these are surprisingly inexpensive for the novelty and awesomeness they hold!

Happy 7th day of Lent!

"Let's Snort Some Vitamin C!"

Bonjour ma peeps!

Ok, so I don't snort anything, but the title was in honor of my brother, Stevo, coming home. He has bronchitis, and so was taking powdered Vitamin C and, being the goof that he is, starts going all Gollum on the Vita-C and proclaimed "Let's snort some vitamin C!" in a creepy tone that ended up being hilarious to me.

And then I found $20....... aka That-Story-Is-Not-As-Funny-Written-Down-As-It-Was-In-My-Head.

But truly....I love my little brother. He and I share a similar sense of humor and we "get" each other. I'm just sad that I only just got to see him this evening and found out that he has to leave for school tomorrow. Which leaves not nearly enough time to hang out. =( But I'm happy I got to at least see him! I am always laughing when he is home, even if I am annoyed with him. Gotta love siblings!

Lenten Thoughts

Hi everyone!

Wow. Being off Facebook is HARD. But what surprised me about the whole thing is WHY it was so hard. It was hardest for me not knowing what everyone else is doing and what's happening everywhere. THE SUSPENSE is KILLING ME (softly. with it's song. ......)

Which then brought me to the thought....."am I really that addicted to being in the center of things? Being a busybody knowing everything about everyone else? Or annoyed if people find out about things before me?"

It was kind of like knowing there's a huge party going on but your mom grounded you so you can't go. SO LAME. (Side note: my mom grounded me constantly but would often forget so I don't *really* know what this feels like as I haven't really been in that position before. GAH. I hate learning through experience sometimes....)

I have decided therefore, that my blog posts will be reminiscent of my activity on FB, so prepare yourselves to what at first might seem TOTALLY random.
So tell me people (I.E. LEAVE COMMENTS*!): are you finding your Lenten resolutions harder to keep than you had figured on?

*My love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. I crave both, so if I cannot get one, please indulge me with the other! It makes me feel connected and not so alone-screaming-into-a-black-hole. Thanks!

Euphemize Me

Hi lovely people who read my blog (or who will *start* reading my blog)!

Ok, so I stayed up late last night, and had early adoration this morning, which is where this blogpost is coming from, so I apologize for any skips in my train of thought. But there is something about the wee small hours of the morning that catches us off-guard and allows us to dig into our brains for what we're REALLY thinking about.

Now.....that being said, you may expect something profound to follow. If so, you clearly have not seen Finding Nemo and are CLEARLY not associated with how Dorie works. Random thoughts, yes. Profound, rarely.

But my thought is this: We have so many lovely euphemisms for unsightly or awful things in our language. If someone dies, we soften the blow by saying "they passed on". That euphemism gives the illusion of one's death as a sort of floaty passage into a better world. No pain, no suffering. While that can be annoying, it IS the point of euphemisms to make something unpleasant, pleasant. My point of aggravation comes with the word "fart". I know, I know.....it's one of "those" hush-hush, pre-teen-awkward words that, let me say, is just plain awkward. Now, you could argue that I only think it's an awkward word because of the way I was brought up. And to some extent that plays a part. But there is nothing redemptive or un-awkward about the actual word "fart". It rolls off your tongue through your lips in a very unattractive way. Even saying it leaves an unpleasant sensation in your mouth. And the oddity of it all, is that the euphemisms for this word that I have heard are almost more awkward and unpleasant than the word itself!

To date, here are some of the keepers: "To pass gas" (Eww.....), "To 'poot'" (really?), "To putt" (Now I can't go golfing anymore) and......that's it. I'm sure I've heard more, but none come to mind besides those three.

Here's where it gets interesting for you, dear readers. I am challenging YOU all to save our everyday language (because, let's be real....everyone farts at least once a day, or should) by coming up with a word that can serve as a correct euphemism: referring to an unpleasant word by replacing it with a pleasant word.

So as not to taint my adoration hour.....I will put my musings from that in a separate post. Have a happy and joyous Saturday!

- Mona

Musings from a Sleep Deprived PTA student....

Hello friends! At least, I'm assuming that the only people who are reading this are friends or at least friendly in nature. =) Beware, I am in a particularly emotional mood right now, which i'm hoping is due to mere hormones and nothing more serious. However, this past week was still crazy, trying to get everything(classes, finances, new city, etc.) in order and still failing. well, at least failing to get them written down in order. ha-ha. I'm not trying to have any sort of that order here, so this post will be more along the lines of Dorie, than anything else. Right now i'm listening to a CD my sister Chribber made me ages ago, and the current track is Maria Maria by Santana....a personal favorite that somehow always reminds me of Torie Wyant nee Zmuda. Speaking of which.....HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY, WYANTS!!! But the real question(and the reason why i started this post) is to ask you all what might be a purely hypothetical question, unable to be fully answered objectively: What makes a "home"?? Is it merely the sentiment/familiarity that a certain place holds?? is it ONLY "Where the heart is"?? At some point after one moves, they stop clarifying which home they're talking about when they say "home". When does that happen?? and when pushed....do you ever stop referring to the place you grew up as "Home"?? Is it love or familiarity that makes a place "Home"?? AGGHH!!! do you see my dilemma?? Let's put it into a physical setting for you visual people(you know who you are =P): 

I grew up in Ann Arbor, MI. I consider myself lucky in that most of my childhood was spent in one house....we didn't move alot after I was born. hmmm....that might be food for another post. At any rate....I will say that for the most part my childhood was happy, with normal ups and downs. But I will say in the same vein that it wasn't SUPER happy(at least in my memory). That being said.....I've moved around alot, especially in the past few years, and with this move....i feel like i could set up camp here in St. Paul. So what is it that makes me unable to think of St. Paul as home?? I definitely love it more than Ann Arbor as far as the actual cities goes. And it is and has been a much more positive environment for me, with a good group of friends who support me 100%; a fantastic school where a positive learning atmosphere is promoted; and a good base of support for my spiritual needs, with good churches within a mile of my apt in either direction; and a good variety of social events and interesting places to hang out. So I have many different loves present here, not to mention that I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. Finally. So what IS it that pulls my heartstrings towards Ann Arbor?? Is it a certain kind of love that makes a home, "Home"??? and if so.....why isn't it "Home is Where a Certain Love Is?? WHY DAMMIT??? That would certainly clear things up for me and not pose such problems. I guess my conclusion is: Don't Trust Proverbs Or Life Sayings. THEY LIE/DECEIVE. 

Ok, i have to go actually start my day and get on with my life. PLEASE COMMENT!! I really want to know what you all think!! As always I remain,

Missing You From St. Paul.

Ok, God, Ok.

Ever have those Meg Ryan days?? More specifically, those Meg-Ryan-in-You've-Got-Mail days? Well, in case you are completely flabbergasted by this idea and have NO IDEA what I'm talking about.....allow me to explain:

To be Meg Ryan, you must have an optimistic view on life and be somewhat happy-go-lucky and cutesy. To be Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail, you must be the above with a little something extra: having your parade rained on. A specific scene comes to mind: Meg Ryan is in bed with an extreme cold, while her store is being crushed by a corporate giant. When she thinks life can't get any worse, who shows up on her doorstep but the one man who has single-handedly taken her down.

I don't know how that really applies to me, except that my allergies are acting up, making me all sniffle-y and sneeze-y and that just makes me think of Meg Ryan in that scene. That, and the fact that I wasn't able to rent a car today, a fact which supplied the necessary depression. Also like Ms. Ryan.....I came out on top. Not *quite* with the guy, the love, and all that jazz.....but at least with a way to continue on to St. Paul and with my sanity intact. =) Enter my GODSEND: My sister, Christina. She has been my angel of mercy and without her, I would be.....a disaster, alone in Chicago. But who really thinks this post is about anyone else but me?? So back to yours truly and my pathetic attempt at a move.

NEWSFLASH! THIS JUST IN:
I'M OFFICIALLY OFF THE WAITLIST AND CAN START MY PROGRAM THIS FALL!!! I am BEYOND ecstatic!! Apparently God just wanted to see if I was truly serious about this PTA business or what.

So, Chribber's computer is about to die so I have to sign off for now. Cheers faithful readers!!! May God bless you wherever you might be and in whatever you are doing!

25 things of random.

Dear readers,

I realize that most of you who used to be faithful readers, after almost two years, don't even check this anymore. However, lack of an audience never daunted other authors before, nor should I be the one to break that tradition. Not to mention it has always been my disposition that things are better left said than unsaid, if one has alot to say.

Now.....do not be alarmed that I have alot to say and so therefore you should fetch your favorite slippers and get comfortable. Nay nay......I doubt what I have to say will take more than a few short paragraphs. But perhaps if I can add bullcrap as I have been able to do in this introduction alone, it might end up being a bit more.

*deep breath*......here goes:

Well, ALOT has happened in the past year and a half. I DID in fact quit my job down in Texas, but for better reasons than my previous rant would suggest. In fact, I find that I owe the Reads and Texas a huge favor, if only in the discovery through them of what I do NOT want. But I must also add that it WAS while working with Ruthie, taking her to Physical Therapy, that I decided that PT was my destiny. "Haha.....destiny? come now, be real!", you might say. However, I truly believe that I was made to practice physical therapy. And seeing as this is the first thing in my life that I am TRULY convicted about and from which NOTHING would deter me, I think I can say that I am honestly destined to be a PTA. So.....hence there was alot of entreaties on the Reads end for me to stay, but I was firm and booked my flight home. I appreciate leaving now so much, because I've realized that the more I leave, the nicer it is to come home and be with my family. Not that my family and I don't get along.....it's just that I am able to appreciate them much more, having been away. That being said, I tend to stay too long and that lovely forgiving view fades away with time.

Skip forward a year. I am now finished with prerequisites and have decided that Chicago, while lovely, is *not* where I am supposed to be. Not to mention, I picked the worst time to not be in school and search for a temporary job that will pay enough for me to save. A novel idea for me, I know, but a necessary reality with the prospect of moving, a car, and more school in my future. Enter Starbucks. I know I know, they support everything bad and are well-versed in extortion. However, they are pretty much the only company in Ann Arbor who hire for temporary positions while offering insurance if one works more than 20 hours a week. which is what one was planning on doing anyways. So in July of 2008, I joined the multimillion dollar corporation and became known as a fullfledged "barista".....a modern term for "slave". It's true, with a smile and a joy that most Starbucks managers have yet to come across in a "newbie", I entered ranks. It is.....truly AMAZING....how detailed people can be about a simple cup of coffee. It also amazes me that anyone would be rude to, complain about to their face, or disrespect someone who is MAKING YOUR DRINK. I shudder to think of the number of people who have unknowingly drunk someone else's spit. That's right, I said SPIT. because let me tell you......it is only through my AMAZING self control, that I haven't spit in anyone's drink. The thought of throwing their hot drink in their face has also crossed my mind. In case you've never thought about this, and have on occasion been a bitch, I give you this advice......just don't. Your baristas/servers/whoever CAN and WILL get you back for every jab or rudeness. What do you think we think about in between customer lines or on our days off?? OUR JOB CONSUMES US IN A VERY NASTY WAY. on the bright side however, I really love interacting with the people, especially if they're nice. Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but talking to tons of people throughout the day is like crack to me. I get a high from it. Honestly. And it has been a TON of fun learning how to make all the million different kinds of coffee drinks, and make them well. I never thought I would see the day when I would get so excited about "good foam". trust me....there is a HUGE difference between good foam and bad foam, looks AND taste.

But enough about Starbucks. I'm in California for the first time in my LIFE!!! Let me just say right now so I can get it off my chest: No trip is ever free. And I mean that in so many different ways. But for the past three days I've been in Heaven, staying @ Mary Twaddle's(a good friend from school) condo in Laguna Beach. Yeah.....you heard me right.....I said LAGUNA BEACH! and no, I don't watch those silly shows, but it's exciting nevertheless! I am very easily entertained and amused and yes, my mom was amazing at teaching me to never lose my sense of wonder. Not only that, but my brother is on his way to pick me up and show me LA!!! The funny thing is, is that I'll be excited to come home. California is a beautiful place, but I don't want to live here, oddly enough. My sister Christina, on the other hand, NEEDS to move here. "Well, it'll be nice then for you to be home soon.", you say. Not so......I go home a day and a half from now, only to be home for a few days, then off again on another adventure! This time, however, I'm staying in the midwest and visiting MN. Good friends, awesome city, and a meeting with a fantastic school await me there.

Oh goodness, there are just times when my heart swells and it's SO GOOD to be alive!!! those moments come and go, but they happen enough to where it makes the other times more endurable. I spend my days wavering between the view that life is this scheduled, monotonous daily regime and all I have to do is get through it and the view that life is this crazy exciting winding road with new adventures just brimming over with fun are around every bend. So right now, I'm going to let you all go and I'm going to savor the sweetness of this moment and thank God for it, for I think we don't ever just stop to thank Him enough. Goodnight, and who knows?? perhaps this is a good start to a more regular posting habit.

......we'll see. =)

Ps. because I think that every author should always have a postscript about something, here's mine: I just realized that I didn't tell you why I chose the title I did. Let's see if you can figure it out......=P

"When In The Course Of Human Events...."

Dear Readers....

HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!!!

i hope all of you experience great fun, great food, and great FIREWORKS today!!!! and may we all just take a minute and thank the dear Lord for our freedom and country.

Even with all of our screwed up ways.....there's still greatness to be tapped into here, and hopefully it will shine through in the years to come!

I, for one, am HAPPY to be an American!

here's an excerpt from an online site that i found about the meaning of our COLORS.....

In the language of the Continental Congress, which defined the symbolic meanings of the colors red, white, and blue, as used in the flag, “White signifies Purity and Innocence; Red, Hardiness and Valor; and Blue, Vigilance, Perseverance and Justice.”

May we do all in our power to bring those meanings back to representing our country.

Truly.....may God bless the USA!!! =) =) =)

ANGRY RANT: Be Forewarned....

I am upset.

no....that would be putting it VERY lightly indeed, and that wouldn't work because the WHOLE FREAKIN' POINT of this blog is to eXpReSs yourself truly, so i am SCALDING HOT MAD!!!!!! and not even just MAD.....i'm ANGRY, HURT, DISAPPOINTED, DISALLUSIONED, IN PAIN, and CONFUSED.

why does life have to be so FREAKIN' INSANE??? that's IT! i feel like i'm going BLOODY INSANE....as in, losing my grip on reality. i mean....what is Reality??? who even gives a shit?

i'm in Texas. and it only goes downhill from there.
i'm alone.
i'm on my period which means that i'm losing blood as we speak for NO DAMN REASON!!!
.....this also does NOT help with my rationale or emotions!
and....i feel like using ALOT OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it has been raining, no...POURING for the last THREE DAYS and i haven't been out of this DAMN house for JUST as long!
the Reads are having family problems and i'm being pushed and shoved into the middle of it!!! and, quite frankly....i am THIS CLOSE to just quitting this DAMN job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and ALL i want is to be able to buy things and have some self respect and KNOW what the HELL i'm supposed to do with this life that God , rather ridiculously, left in my care!

i miss everyone. i miss my dad, my family, my friends, my "ex" friends, and being a kid!
i've never felt so alone in my ENTIRE life. i have dozens of friends and i feel like none of them REALLY know who i really am.

i can't even get a FLIPPIN' haircut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
and they always say that writing things out helps you cope. well.....i'm only getting MORE ANGRY with every word i type!

i feel stifled. angry. unhealthy(oh, yeah....i just found out i have LOW blood pressure and i can't find out why or what to do because i'm currently without insurance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

so......to sum it up: i am obese, alone, unhealthy with no way to fix it, confused as to what i'm supposed to do next, being taken advantage of, and just plain unhappy!

No More.

what's the point of this thing?
i mean....i rarely ever write on it (sorry everyone!) and when i do....Brendon's the only one who cares. (thanks brendon!!!) and what i write is not really that interesting. at least....not as interesting as the stuff i come up with in the middle of the night. but who gets up in the middle of the night to write a blog post and waste precious sleeping time?? NO ONE. Ergo.....i just probably won't be writing that much on this blog anymore. however, as my closing note, i would like to say a few things.

first, these last two weeks after Easter have been fabulous! in so far as the making of new wonderful friends go.....it was top-notch. =) It's kinda making me sad to leave! or at least....it's making it more difficult. and confusing. well....at least i have one more month with them!

secondly, i am disappointed yet again. maybe my standards are too high? perhaps i am too spoiled by the riches of REAL Catholicism? or maybe i'm just too contrary for TX? whatever the root may be....the fact remains that i am disappointed. "In what?" you say. well, allow me to explain: So, yesterday was Thursday so i prepared to go to adoration at St. Rita's as they have weekly adoration and i was trying to make a habit of it. I got all excited and ended up, through various reasons, being a little bit late. and the way they do it is to have the first 1/2 hour be a reading, a responsorial psalm, the gospel, and a homily; with the last 1/2 hour being silent meditation and then ending with benediction. so i showed up as the lady was finishing the reading. that's when it all happened.
after the reading, this lady got up and instead of reading a psalm, she ended up reading some "love the earth" letter or something. as if that wasn't enough to make me start questioning...the deacon got up and instead of reading the gospel and THEN giving his homily....he went straight to the homily and started talking about how we need to take better care of the earth. now, i'm not saying that that is necessarily a bad thing, i think we SHOULD take better care of it, but why was it a homily/meditation in ADORATION??? couldn't they just write a notice in the bulletin? now, you might think that that was it. WRONG! it got worse. after his "homily"....he had everyone follow him in chanting, almost like a responsorial psalm, "we join with the earth, and with each other". what the HECK??????? is anyone else gettin' red flags going up?? well, at that point i just got up and left. i'm sorry....if they're gonna turn adoration into some sort of hippie commune, feel-good, join-with-the-earth field day, then i'm out.

so much for St. Rita's.

in other better news....Theo Ferrant is down visiting us this weekend.....YAY!!!! i didn't realize until i saw her, how much i miss having her around. i love the Ave community. you guys(and girls) ROCK!!!

Short Post: more later....

hi my dear readers!


well.....i'm now in my second day, coming off of a splendid high of a great weekend. (that will be an entirely DIFFERENT and SEPARATE post). and now in my reflection i can better understand why people get hooked on drugs. i mean.....the high once experienced, is only craved more and more! my life has been recently categorized as a life of sedentry, with the occasional(sometimes monthly) high of a trip to see family or friends. which then leaves me only the more unsatisfied. WHY???? why can't i just be normal and accept that i'm not in college surrounded by my nearest and dearest? and that i'm not only NOT there anymore, but we're ALL scattered and in different places??? what is SO bad about that???
and yet, every few days or so.....i end up getting in this complete funk of reminiscing and self-pity. when in all reality.....i have it pretty good! i have a good job (albeit a stressful one) that pays for pretty much ALL my expenses, which i'm quickly learning, is not really teaching me the best saving skills.

argh. anywho, the point of all this is merely to have it flow from a muddled mess in my head to a muddled mess NOT in my head. on a side note, it's actually getting a little pretty here with all the trees and grass growing green. almost normal. however.....the ginormous bugs prevail and bring me back to reality of this being NOT normal. i believe that oversized and really dangerous bugs are the direct result of original sin.

whatever. i'm in a funk now, so i'm gonna watch some tv to unwind and then go to bed early.......hopefully. cheers.